We must be doing something right. A year after I took our smoke school commercial in September 2001, a fellow from Vulcan Materials Company called me the week before Christmas and asked us to train his employees at a plant outside of Milwaukee, Wisconsin. I did a quick spot check on the internet for the weather report and saw that the chill factor was minus 37 and the ice was 2 feet thick on the ground. I said that he was going to find someone else or wait until April. I am a Southern Boy from the great warm state of Louisiana and I ain’t never been in cold weather except for 2 weeks in October 1970 when Uncle Sam’s Air Force had the gall to send me to Iceland to inspect the aircrew life support equipment and catch the crews up on their life support survival training. I really had to bundle up. It was so cold that if you forgot to wear your insulated gloves, your hand would stick to the metal on the EC-121 radar plane wing and just stay there until it was surgically removed. This always reminded me of what my Daddy taught me about logger head snapping turtles when we were running trotlines. "If that turtle bites your finger, it want let go until it thunders." I also remembered an important lesson that I learned a few weeks later about 10 pound alligator garfish. Never run a trotline while floating in an inner tube. Gar have very sharp needle nose teeth and they can be all over you in a New York minute. I have vowed never to do that again. Never mind going alligator hunting with the Swamp People. It ain't me Babe.

When we took off from Iceland to return to Sacramento, I looked out the window of our EC-121 and the snowflakes were as big as tennis balls and falling sideways at 65 miles an hour. I sat down in my chair by the window and said my prayers. “Lord if you get me out of this, I will give you everything I own.” Since everything I owned fit into a duffle bag, he would not have gained that much.

When we finally gained altitude, the Flight Engineer came to me and said there is ice on the wing and we are in for some severe turbulence. The plane bounced up and down like a yo yo. I said if I am going to die in an airplane crash than I want to be sleeping. I climbed into the crew bunk bed and did not wake up until we got to the Bone Yard at Davis Monthan Arizona. I will never forget that place with all the dead airplanes on the ground and we blew out a tire on landing.

I told Vulcan they going to have to find someone else. I don’t belong to Uncle Sam no more and I got my options. The guy said, “Big George, I heard you are the biggest, baddest, and the bestest There ever was. Besides that, nobody else wants to come up here either. You are our last hope. Our certificates expired yesterday.” Reluctantly I found my footlocker and dug my Air Force parka, insulated coveralls; thermal underwear, a thermos bottle of Community Coffee, and ski boots and we drove to Milwaukee.

About 30 Vulcan Employees sat in a metal maintenance building with a large diesel heater watching me blowing smoke through a rollup door. I brought 3 sets of plastic fuel lines that transport the diesel fuel from the tank to the burner. I put the extras by the heater to keep them thawed out. Sometimes the diesel froze in the plastic lines before I could get the fuel flowing. Somehow we got through it and everyone passed. It paid off. Today Vulcan is our largest source of income. We train every Vulcan plant in Wisconsin, Illinois, and Indiana. We would love to train every single plant that your company owns. We can do that. You can make it happen.

We must be doing something right. Last week a Union Pacific Railroad Environmental Coordinator drove all the way from Denver Colorado to our home in West Monroe, Louisiana, because his counterparts in Arkansas said we were the best smoke school provider in the world. It humbles me to see hard working people like you take time from their busy schedule to fly to our schools from faraway places like Japan. Read what they have to say about Whitlow. Although the world economy has been struggling, we are growing consistently each year. We are growing because of a grain of faith like mustard seed, and because you are telling your friends about our great friendly customer service, attitude, dependability, and professionalism. We may not be rich or famous, but we are enjoying life and we are here for one reason, to serve you. Please check out our schedule and find a location near you. Private on site smoke schools are available for people who want to train at least 20 attendees. We take a lot of pride in what we do. Thank you all from the bottom of our hearts. Welcome home.

Roddy White, my grandfather once told me that you can’t look a gift mule in the mouth. I suppose he knew what he was talking about, because he started out as a mule skinner for the Louisiana Central Lumber Company in Clarks, Louisiana about a hundred years ago, when he was just 16 years old. At his funeral a fellow told me that Roddy never met a mule that he could not ride. My momma always used to say that life was just like a box of chocolates. You never know just what you are gonna get. Momma also said you can’t judge a book by the cover. There has grown to be a few companies out there on the internet who claim to be smoke school providers. I know most of them and I can tell you that some of them purchased their first rusted out smoke machine for $700 from Fred Sanford’s salvage yard. "Six months ago I did not know what smoke school was. Now I are one." Have you ever used an unlicensed electrician? I used one once. He finished the job. I turned on the light switch and the toilet flushed One light switch in one room controlled the ceiling fan in another room. I have more time in the outhouse that these guys have spent inside the gates of any industrial plant in America. I can bet you 20 bucks that no other living employee of any smoke school provider company has ever made a surprise midnight inspection of a hazardous waste incinerator in their life. I forgot more than they will ever know. If I'm lying I'm dying and that is a fact Jack. Ray Charles can see that.

This is like hiring the new college football coach. “Well let’s see MR Boudreaux. You have never made a tackle. You have never got down low and ran into a guy full blast and knocked the ball out of his hands. You have never taken a snap from the center. You have never thrown a pass. You have never been down on the 3-point stance and had someone step on your knuckles with the cleats. You are hired. Start tomorrow. One huge problem with smoke school providers is they forgot they are there to teach. Part of the teaching, an important part, is how to take the certification test. They simply assume that you already know how. And some of you actually think you know how, but unless you have been to Whitlow, you have never been taught the correct way to pass quickly and go home. They just go on as fast as they can treating you like a herd of cows, read, read, read, so they can get through as fast as they can, so you can fail and start all over again. Some providers have enclosed operating booths for their employees to work in air conditioned comfort. They cannot even see you at all to make sure you are learning how to properly take the test. That is not how my momma raised me. She raised me to treat others like the good book says, like I wish others to treat me, with respect and dignity. We have come to call it customer service. Sometimes I would rather pay a few bucks more to go to True Value rather than spend a day at one of those warehouse stores. Whenever I hear that beeping sound and see those forklifts backing my way, I get scared they are going to back over me and smash me flatter than a pancake right there D O A on isle 31. The people at True Value will find it for you and take it to the counter. Sort of like my grandmother's neighborhood general store in a little place called Hope Arkansas.

The Whitlow Family 1944- Eloise, Artie JR, Mother Whit, My daddy George Wesley, Uncle Maurice

We love smoke school and we want you to love it, not leave it. Once you have had the best, you will never settle for second fiddle.

Like my cousin Merle Haggard I remember when a Ford and a Chevy could still last 10 years like they should, back when Coke was still Cola, and a joint was a bad place to go. If you think smoke school is just a bad place to go, so you could spend 3 days in a yard chair taking a test over and over again, so you could earn a certificate just to hang on the wall, then you have another think or two coming. Smoke school is not just about taking a test and getting a certificate. The purpose of smoke school is to teach you practical knowledge based on experience on how to document and prove that you are meeting the requirements for opacity monitoring to prove that you comply with the laws and regulations of the United States of America and to the Republic for which is stands. A notice of an environmental violation is not a piece of cake. Most penalties start out around $30,000 and go up. I was in the courthouse not long after one of our DEQ surprise midnight inspections documented an opacity violation. Granted it was not their first cake walk. The plant appeared on the Oprah Winfrey Show. They hired 9 of New Jersey's finest lawyers. They lost a 9 million dollar class action lawsuit and had to pay a 4 million dollar fine to the great state of Louisiana. They were on every afternoon news show in America. The bottom fell out of their stock market value and they had to close the gates forever after the National Guard Army tanks busted them down. Click here to read all about the worst nightmare.

Somebody out their hand picked you to represent the company and come to smoke school to learn all you can about compliance. Give it 110%. We want let you down. Whitlow has 4 retired Louisiana DEQ inspectors on staff. We know smoke school and we know all you need to learn about environmental compliance. We have been there, done that, the whole 9 yards, and took a picture of it.

Some of you want to save a few bucks and find the cheapest provider out there. Read the small print. Some providers add hidden charges like overtime. Just remember the next time you cross a bridge over troubled water, that the bridge was more than likely built by the low bidder. We had a saying in the Air Force, every time an airplane crashed and burned- "Low bidder strikes again". Several providers are sending you mail offering a very low introductory rate just to suck you in the door. Don't be fooled. Watch it buster. Some providers charge you a reduced rate if you pay in advance. This proves that they have zero experience walking for a mile in your shoes. I have either worked in a factory or been inspecting factories most of my 63 years. I know that you have certain procedures that you are required to follow. I know that you have to fill out a requisition and get a purchase order number. We do not penalize you for taking the time to do your job the way you are expected to. We charge the same regardless if you pay now or later.

We love smoke school and we want you to learn what you need to know and have fun doing it. Life is too stressful already. We do our homework and evaluate the weather conditions and set the stage for learning. We consider all the factors to make the smoke easier to see and read. I have heard other providers brag that not every one can read smoke. They boast that half the people taking the test fail and this meets their mathematical quota. I have heard them say well if it is to cloudy to see the smoke, let them take a good guess. I don't care what the Jones's say, 3 days in a yard chair taking a test over and over again is not fun. We consider all the factors like 3 stack distances away, contrasting background, wind direction, sun to your back. We provide shelter from rain, snow, and sun. We create a contrasting background so you can read smoke on a cloudy day. The majority of you will pass the test the very first attempt. We feel that if you do not pass in 3 runs, then we failed to teach you how and we did not do our job correctly. We teach you how, so please pay attention. Listen, do you want to know a secret. Here is the secret for passing the smoke school certification test the first time. We bring lots of bottled water and soft drinks to keep you hydrated. We make you a fresh pot of coffee. We bring donuts. We cook you a fine lunch. We are here for one reason and that is to serve you and do it well. Don’t worry, be happy. Come to Whitlow and bring a positive attitude.

"Jesus walked on the water, and I know that it is true. But sometimes I think that preacher man would like to do a little walking too. But I ain't asking nobody for nothing if I can't get it on my own. If you don't like the way I'm living you just leave this long-hair country boy alone." Charlie Daniel. If the Bible says it, then I believe it. And that settles it. I think you should know the truth and the truth will set you free. What I am about to tell you may not be professional, but it is the truth. I believe that Jesus loves me. My grandmother sang it to me in the words of a song starting back when I was a young Buck knee high to a grasshopper. Jesus loves me this I know cause the Bible tells me so. Sometimes I forget it, because sometimes life is like that. I believe with all my heart that Jesus knows my name and that he loves me, and that he has a plan for my life. I believe this to be true although I certainly do not deserve it. My sins are large enough to sink the Titanic. In all reality I am just a backsliding Assembly of God preacher trying to discover the will of God on a daily basis. If I would just sometimes be still, shut up, and listen, maybe there would not be so many road blocks or Hank Thompson Detours. Today is the first day of the rest of my life. Today I shall try to do exactly what i am supposed to do. If I fall again, please help me stand up one day at a time. God created us in his image for one reason. The reason is to worship him with all of our hearts and to have fellowship with him. We are his children. We all like to spend time with our children and Jesus is not any different. Hind sight is 20/20. I believe at this exact period in time, that I am exactly where he planned for me to be. It has been a long and winding road from Lida Benton School in Monroe, Louisiana, to Neville High School, to Northeast Louisiana State, to the USAF, to Louisiana DEQ, and presently blowing smoke at smoke school. I have given it 110% effort to serve you well and do God’s will. Put this on my tombstone. I met a doctor during the Vietnam War who said he was born to build teeth. He rebuilt teeth for my brothers and sisters who had them shot out or blown out. I guess I was born to blow smoke.

"I know how to skin a buck and run a trotline, but I ain't running it while floating in an inner tube no more. A country boy can survive. " Hank Williams JR. My life has truly been a beautiful incredible journey. I graduated from the school of hard knocks, and I mean hard. I am proud of what I was and what I am. I started college in 1966 at Northeast Louisiana State College and wasted most of 3 years. I finally after 20 years of night school earned a BS college degree in 1988 in Liberal Arts from Regents College Albany New York with concentrations in Social Studies and Environmental Protection. This translates into that I am a determined individual who likes people and loves the great outdoors and our environment. This is how I make a living and support my family and 17 employees. Who would a thunk it. Only In America where my friends, brothers, and sisters have fought and died for our freedom. I believe that anything is possible if we put our minds to it. Knuckle down, buckle down, do it, do it, do it. Like Roger Miller I believe that you can be happy if you put your mind to it.

My daddy taught me starting at age 9 that all men are created equal. They put their pants on one leg at a time. I learned it when I stood on the pitcher's mound, drug by shoe across the rubber, wound up, and delivered an underarm side armed fast curve slider that missed the outside corner coming in and passed at the batter's knee cap. If that did not get them I gave them a knuckle ball, a change up, or an old fashioned spit ball. I have seen them run and I have seen them cry. They swung but caught nothing but air.

I learned it again from Buck Stewart, my freshman football coach at Neville. I got down low in my 3 point stance a few inches from the center and the football. It was my ball and I wanted it. The quarterback only had a few seconds and he was down. If he kept the ball then he was lucky. There was crashing and the gnashing of teeth, and sometimes broken bones. That is the way it was.

I have lived a wonderful life. I have eaten my mother’s homemade biscuits and country butter from the churn that I churned from milk from a cow that I milked. I have pitched for my daddy’s Police Baseball team and struck out the side so many times. I have felt the leather of his 38 Special revolver holster and smelled his Old Spice. I have sucked crawfish heads in Crowley Louisiana.

I ate Southern fried chicken from a picnic basket with Governor John J. McKeithen in his back yard along the Boeuf River near Columbia, Louisiana. I sat with his son Fox with my cowboy boots propped on his desk next to his boots as we sipped Jack Daniels that he removed from his drawer in his Secretary of State Office in the State Capitol Building in Baton Rouge. He called me Brother George. I was a body guard for Ronald Reagan in the hotel lobby when he gave a speech for the 1968 Republican National Convention. Walter Cronkite gave me a bottle of Champaign. I preached the Gospel of Jesus to the homeless and destitute living in the streets a few blocks from Governor Ronald Reagan’s office in Sacramento California. I shook hands and chatted with The Reverend Jimmy Swaggart and watched his great smile.

A few short years after I first met Reagan, I possessed a Secret Security Clearance and worked hand in hand with the USAF and the Secret Service to serve and protect the Presidents of the United States. On several occasions our EC-121 radar plane flew from Sacramento to Orlando to provide security and follow President Richard Nixon after a Cuban Pilot commandeered a Russian Mig 17 Fighter Plane and flew 90 miles undetected and parked it unannounced on the tarmac next to Air Force One. The pilot flew just above the ocean surface and was undetected by our radar. Nixon had a hissy fit and ordered our EC-121 to follow him to Florida so our radar dome could provide low altitude protection.

I sipped Jack Daniels with Willy Lee who perfected the modern smoke machine. I marveled at my smoke machine on Barataria Bay with the old man who invented it in 1966 to read the opacity of 18 wheelers on Interstate 55 in St Louis. He said not much has changed. I inspected pilot’s parachutes, issued them, and taught them how to pull the ripcord if their plane was shot down over enemy lines in Vietnam. Not a single pilot came back to complain that his shoot did not open. I taught them how to stay alive by eating worms and snails. I taught doctors and medics how to diagnose and treat casualties from Chemical, Nuclear, and Biological Warfare during the cold war with Russia. I taught hundreds of Air Force and civil service employees how to protect them self from hazardous noise and toxic chemicals. I gave them hearing tests and blood tests every year to see if they were paying attention. I taught environmental coordinators, operators, plant managers, inspectors, and lawyers how to look at smoke and read opacity. I have been a teacher all of my life. I started out teaching boys how to play baseball. I coached for 20 years, just like my daddy and my little brother Ricky. All in the family. Life is a game. Life is a stage and we are the actors. We can be all that we want to be. Never give up. Keep smiling. Attitude is everything.

I have seen Rock City 8 times. I have been sunburned on the beautiful white sandy beaches of Florida and swam with hammerhead sharks in the aqua blue waters of the Gulf of Mexico. I swam in the Atlantic Ocean at the beaches from Key West to Cape Cod and the Pacific Ocean from San Jose to Portland. I swam in the icy waters of the North Sea near the white cliffs of Dover. I love to fish. Fishing is for fun and relaxation. I have fished for sturgeons in the Colorado River and Walleye in Wisconsin. I caught Sac-au-lait in Bayou Black and Lake Veret in South Louisiana, white perch in Clear Lake in North Louisiana, and crappie in Indiana and Wisconsin. They were all the same fish with different names in each place. No matter how you look at it, it is a fish, and fishing is good for the soul. Like ST Peter, I have been a fisher of fish and a fisher of souls.

Charlie Daniels sang America My Beautiful. I have seen America from sea to shiny sea. I have been on top of the mountain in the Rockies, the Smokeys, the Blue Ridge, and the Ozarks. I have seen Niagara Falls with my mother. I have seen the tower of Big Ben and the London Bridge. I have seen the Grand Canyon. I left tears, prayers, and flowers at Ground Zero the Twin Towers. I have seen the fresh snow on an Indiana morning. I have fly fished for brim on the Buffalo River in Tennessee and the White River in Arkansas. I have seen a million places and known ten million people. I am so grateful. None of this would be possible without the good Lord having mercy on me and without all of you. Thanks to all of you who have taken the time to reach out and touch my heart forever. In 1998 I was sitting in a truck stop in Lafayette, Louisiana when I picked up a napkin and a pen and started writing a novel based on my baseball career when I was 11 years old. In the novel I followed my dreams and became a pitcher for the New York Yankees. I called it Blue Bayou Days- the Summer of 61.

I have been in 2 Hollywood movies. In the Hallmark Hall of Fame movie Old Man, I was a shrimp boat captain standing on the deck of my shrimp boat wiping the sweat off my beard after rescuing 100 people from the great Mississippi River Flood of 1927. With the magic of Hollywood, I also walked past myself 3 times while I was unloading boxes from the bed of a pickup truck. Being a Hollywood actor is the hardest work that I have ever done. I got paid to walk down the shrimp boat deck behind actress Jeanne Tripplehorn 100 times from daylight to dark in a wool costume in mid July in the humidity of Covington, Louisiana on the north shore of Lake Pontchartrain. I noticed that she was toting a little baby wrapped up in a blanket. I asked her why her baby never cried in this heat. Then she said life is not always the way it seems. She raised the blanket and the baby was a doll.

In Dracula 2000 I was standing in the massive Bourbon Street crowd catching Mardi Gras beads that people were throwing from the balcony. Behind the scene, I was icing down members of the extras cast after they collapsed from heat stoke because we filmed this scene in August and the night temperature was 98 degrees and the relative humidity was 112.

Whitlow Enterprises has 30 years experience in smoke school and environmental protection compliance inspection and enforcement. We are a family owned and operated Disabled Veteran Small Business that strives to provide stress free smoke school with customer service and lagniappe, hot coffee, donuts, soft drinks, sodas, and home cooked lunches for your convenience. We provide nationwide visible emissions opacity training and certification. We are based in West Monroe, Louisiana and Odon Indiana and provide 100 locations in 21 states.

George Artie Whitlow Big George Big Bad George , President Whitlow Smoke School Nation.

My momma said, "These socks will take you anywhere. "

Welcome home veterans. We are glad you are home. I remember coming home after the Vietnam War. Nixon gave us all an early out. All of the returning warriors saturated the job market. I had a new wife and a new baby. I spent a year on unemployment and food stamps and eventually re-enlisted back in the US Air Force, because there were not a lot of jobs for life support technicians and parachute packers. Not one person came back to complain that their parachute did not open. My return to the Air Force led to my career change to environmental and eventually smoke school. All things do indeed work together for good for those who love the Lord. If you are a fellow veteran, you need a job, and are willing to relocate to Northern Louisiana or Southern Indiana email me smokeschool@yahoo.com subject job for a veteran and attach a resume and I will see what we can do for you. Been there, done that- the whole 9 yards.

We train and certify individuals to become Visible Emissions Evaluators to document compliance with state and federal air quality permits and regulations that require the use of EPA Method 9- Visual Determination of Opacity of Emissions from Stationary Sources in accordance with 40 CFR 60 Appendix A. All stationary sources such as bag houses or smokestacks to name a few, with a potential for emitting airborne visible emissions like smoke, dust, or other particulates are required by their permits to be read at prescribed times by Certified Visible Emissions Evaluators. Visible Emissions Evaluator certificates are valid for 6 months. Whitlow Smoke School certificates are valid in all 57 states. Whitlow also offers training in EPA Method 22, the Fugitive Emissions method, and other EPA test methods.

Drew Brees and the Saints Record Breaking win.

Join us on Facebook: Big George Sweet Angie

Whitlow Smoke School Nation is based in West Monroe, Louisiana, and conducts training with Lagniappe, the Cajun word for something just a little bit extra thrown in for good measure. We provide friendly customer service and a down home positive attitude. We want to turn smoke school into a pleasurable memory. Memories are made, they just don’t happen.

We do our homework. We pick and choose training locations convenient to groups of industrial plants that need our services. Gas ain't 30 cents a gallon no more. Time is money. Email smokeschool@yahoo.com - Subject: to suggest a location. The convenient locations allow us to be up close and personal in our training, because we average about 30 people per location. We don't treat you like a herd of cows. Many people have been part of our extended family for 10 years or longer. Read what they have to say about is. You will develop friendships and working relationships with our crew, other industrial plant employees, and state and federal environmental inspectors who attend our training every 6 months. We have even had a wedding or two at smoke school. We are family owned and operated. Threee of our staff members are retired Louisiana DEQ employees. We are the experts in environmental compliance.

We do our homework. We select training locations that set the scene for the optimal conditions for reading the opacity of smoke. We strive to provide you with shelter from rain, snow, or the sun. We create a contrasting background so you can read opacity correctly during cloudy conditions. We take our time during the testing procedure. Before we start the testing, we give precise instructions on how to take the test and pass quickly. We observe you during practice tests and the real test to make sure you are demonstrating that you have learned the basic fundamentals, such as sun position, wind direction, distance from stack, observing the smoke at the densest part of the plume at the end of the smokestack, reading the background not the smoke, when to look at the smoke, and when to stop looking and mark your answer sheet. We use the original EPA answer sheet, where you just write your answer in the columns. If you have any questions at all, just stop us and ask. We want you to pass.

Other smoke school providers measure the success of their schools by the percentage that fails. I have heard them brag that half the people failed the test. I have herd them say, "Let them just guess if it is too cloudy to read the white smoke." I have heard them say, "Not everybody can read smoke." Other providers forget that the words "smoke school" indicates that training is taking place. They don't train, they just test: read, read, read. They want you to read as fast as you can so they can do about 10 test runs a day. We like to Get-R-Done in less then 3 test runs, before your eyeballs get stressed out. We think reading smoke can be as natural as falling off a log. I find myself reading opacity of people burning leaves on the side of the road. If you can't read opacity, then you have not been taught correctly. Some people have been taking smoke school for 10 years and find it stressful because they have not been taught how. We are proud to be the flip-flop, the opposite side of the coin when it comes to smoke school providers. We are often imitated but never duplicated. You will find cheaper providers, but your daddy always said you get exactly what you pay for. My momma always said, Life is like a box of chocolates." Three days is a long time to spend in a yard chair throwing clipboards in the air in the blazing sun. Time is money. God threw away the mold when he created us. I don't even like the sound of the word failure. Bring a positive attitude. You can do this. This is the way that Big George was raised. We do not like to leave a location until all are certified.

We try to make your training experience informative and fun. Life sometimes is just too stressful. We present friendly competition and award prizes to those making the best scores. We greet you with a smile, fresh donuts, and hot coffee. We keep an ice chest full of bottled water and sodas for your refreshment. We serve lunch.

Lets take a little break. You have just got to see this video. Click here to see Big George and the Phantom Amish Rooster.

Hello, I am Big George Whitlow and I am the founder of Whitlow Smoke School Nation. I am Baby Boomer, a 13 year Vietnam War USAF Veteran Environmental Health Technician, and I am a retired employee from Louisiana DEQ. I have been conducting smoke school since 1984. I founded Whitlow Enterprises in September 2001. I have handpicked a staff of professional team members dedicated to see that you receive the best available training experience. Daddy always said, “If it is worth doing at all, then do it right the first time.” Four of our team members are retired from Louisiana DEQ. We are the experts in all aspects of environmental compliance. Just ask us if you have any problems that need solving. We conduct smoke schools every 6 months in over 100 locations in 20 states and our certificates are valid nationwide.

Whitlow Smoke School Nation Team Member Staff

I would like to take this opportunity to introduce the team members that work together to serve you and rest of the family in the Smoke School Nation. Whitlow Smoke School Staff

Be well. Do good work. And stay in touch. And that's the news from Lake Whitlow B Gone.