Whitlow Enterprises EPA Smoke School Visible Emissions Opacity Training and Certification for EPA Title V and State Environmental Air Quality Permits. We are the only experts with over 50 years on the job experience in the real EPA world. We have paid our dues. We forgot more than they will ever know. Whitlow is born and bread in West Monroe Louisiana, home of the Duck Dynasty. Hey Jack- Fun Stress Free Smoke School. Whitlow enterprises started with just 2 smoke schools in 2001. The first schools consisted of 40 people who had attended my Louisiana DEQ school every 6 months for 20 years. These individuals convinced the higher up bosses they could save time and money, with my 1/2 day stress free smoke schools for $200, rather then suffer through 3 days of agony trying to pass the 3 day Louisiana DEQ Smoke School, which was free of charge. Time is money. Now we have 100 smoke school locations in 23 states. Hey Jack- That's good. We will create mew locations if you request one. Schedule an onsite school or new open enrollment. Whitlow is available for on the job training and or safety and environmental audits. We are expert witnesses in any court case. We can create all of your signs and labels. One stop that is all. Who you gonna call? Who needs smoke school? Search your Title V and air permit online for the words visible emissions, and opacity, and you will find out certification requirements, potential sources, and minimum frequency for opacity reading of smoke and dust. President Georg W Bush Executive Order 13360 requires all state and federal US Agencies to use Service-Disabled Veteran's Small Business. Whitlow is the only smoke school that qualifies. Ask your state environmental department to comply with Executive Order 13360, so you can be certified by the very best that ever was. We care about you, so please take care of us. You are not obligated to attend any particular smoke school, just because your environmental department does. EPA Method 9 is a federally mandated regulation. Whitlow smoke school certificates are valid nationwide. You can take that to the bank, Jack. We do every single day. Thanks for your real hard earned money. We are expanding so let us help put our smoke schools in several locations in your state. We don't just issue certificates, we train. Training you can depend on when the chips are down. All things work together for good for those who love the Lord. Hind s sight is 20/20. I started my environmental career in 1976 in the United States Air Force as a Bioenvironmental Engineer and now I am the Smoke Master General. Whitlow Smoke School Nation is the only smoke school provider in America who does not concentrate on taking your money, typing your certificate, counting heads, and packing up for their next road trip. We make sure that you are properly trained in the basic fundamentals of football and reading opacity at your plant. We are over qualified and can help you out with any EPA,OSHA, or any problems at all.

Whitlow Enterprises was created and is owned and operated by a carpenter, a Sheppard, a good fisherman, and our only savior Jesus, Prince of Peace. On the morning of September 1, 2001, he woke me up at 04:30 and said build it and they will come. If you recall that is 911 the day America was attacked. "Build what," I asked. "A field of dreams, a baseball park, or a cornfield." And his answer as clear as the nose on your face was Smoke School- that is the only thing you have ever done right in your entire life. I created you to be smoke school and I would love for you do do it the way that you know that I would do it. Do unto others like you would love them do unto you. Do it right the first time or get out of Dodge.  If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Years ago in 1983 back when I was a young buck inspector suffering through smoke school, I discovered it was broke. I took the EPA Method 9 certification test and failed it 96 times in 3 days. I got sun stroke, moon bite, poison ivy, and the 7 year itch. Smoke school was broker than a 2 dollar pistol. It want work and you can't fire it. So I fixed it. I could not pass the certification test, so I started giving the Louisiana DEQ smoke school EPA Method 9 Visible Emissions Evaluator training and certification test for DEQ in 1984. I cashed in my chips in 2001 and retired from DEQ to start Whitlow Enterprises Smoke School.  Starting on day one in 1984 all attendees come to say they actually leaned something for the first time and had fun to boot. Imagine that Smoke School is fun.  I just might have a college BS degree in Environmental Science and Social Studies, but that don't mean that I don't have common plain horse sense. AMEN end of Story. Click on the links then scroll down for the rest of the story.

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Click here for the truth, at least according to Uncle George Whitlow's personal opinion, about Opacit Air, ESC and other smoke school competitor providers. Links included to all. This is like the original movie Miracle on 34st Street.  This ain't Macy's and I ain't Santa Clause, but click, compare, shop, and choose the best smoke school provider for your special needs.

 Jesus Prince of Peace

 Always remember to put God First and all things work  together for good for those who love the Lord. At this time we here at Whitlow Enterprises Smoke School would like for you to enter your comments about our web page, our Whitlow Smoke School Nation smoke schools, or even our excellent Cajun Cooking. You can post your favorite clean jokes. You can give us your personal testimony about your relationship with the The Prince of Peace. I am 66 years young and I am brand new at actually walking with the Lord on a daily basis, although he has kept me in his hands since day one back when I collected $200 for passing geaux. He has restored my soul, cured me of diabetes, cancer, high blood pressure- Hallelujah. Jesus has restored my soul and my health to a 30 year old man. If I'm lying I'm dying. It's right there in your Bible, red letters, first parenthesis.

The Whitlow family and team members of Whitlow Enterprises are not here just to take your hard eared money. Money is filthy lucre necessary to get by in this life. We love you and we need you. We believe in God and we believe God wants us to give you a helping hand, not just when things are going good, but when the chips are down. Our team is very qualified and experienced in EPA and OSHA and we can help you with compliance issues and take the lead out. We love you and we are also concerned about your personal life and spiritual well being. The song goes, nobody loves you when you are down and out. Whenever you need a friend with ears, we are here like a bridge over troubled waters.  Feel free to call or contact us anytime.

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And this small grain of mustard seed faith is exactly the reason why I, George Artie Whitlow, the Smoke Master General built it- built the Whitlow Smoke School Nation and you are reading this page, enjoying the music and my infinite wisdom teeth. We built it and you will be coming. See you at Whitlow smoke school. Step up to the plate and let me grab your hand. Many of you veteran smoke readers know smoke school can be very stressful. Inexperienced smoke school providers can make the EPA Method 9 opacity reading visible emissions evaluator test very hard to pass. If you miss one single reading by 4 spaces, then you have to retake the test. People get stressed out, get mad, and clipboards fly. Whitlow Smoke School's goal is to give good instructions, take our time, and make the test simple as possible. We strive for stress reduction to make the testing experience fun and relaxing. We provide stress free smoke school certification. 

Come see at Whitlow Smoke School Nation and you will win prizes. You just might win a Two Dollar Bill.

 

A great big HEY! From the Whitlow Family to you.

 

This is Uncle George and I am the Smoke Commander. Greetings and salutations and the whole 9 yards. The good Lord has really blessed Pamela, our daughters Holly, Ashley, Mandy, our grandson Bryce, me and the rest of the Whitlow Family, friends, and Whitlow employee team  who work hard to serve you for Whitlow Enterprises and Whitlow Smoke School Nation. We want you to come see and pass a good time and feel at home, weather we are on the road again or here in the front yard at our home in the woods in Dixie, just 12 miles south of West Monroe, Louisiana. We are located just 7 woods miles from Phil Robertson's double wide. As you all know Phil is the Buck Commander that you all know from the Duck Dynasty. The Lord has blessed us to no end and I am proud to say the fortune and fame hasn't changed either one of us, not even one iota. The Whitlow family is well known for faith, family, and just blowing smoke.   

George Artie Whitlow

It ain't over until the fat cat sings. We are Whitlow Smoke School Nation. Be well, do good work, and keep in touch. Amen. 

HEY!! Alabama named a street after me.

 The basic fundamentals of our success- vision,  discipline, judgment, commitment, dependability, and accuracy. We strive to be the best that we can be. Whitlow Smoke School is co owned and operated by me and my lovely bride Pamela and our 3 beautiful daughters Holly, Ashley, and Mandy. Whitlow is based on love, faith, hope, family, and crabs. Hello my name is George Artie Whitlow, AKA Cotton Valley, Smoke Commander, Uncle Earl- and the buck stops here. Pam is the boss and without her and Jesus we would not be here at all. Our dedicated loyal staff of team players are here for one reason and one reason only. We are here to serve you in the best way possible. We built it and you are coming. We are growing by leaps and bounds because we do it right the first time and take the stress out of smoke school. You would rather be with us then the dentist- I gar-on-tee you will give us the thumbs up on this one. We want to teach you what you need to know about opacity reading and how to pass the certification test the first time so you can go fishing. We bring you plenty of hot coffee, ice cold water, and soft drinks to keep you refreshed. We even cook you a mouthwatering Cajun lunch gumbo or jambalaya, maybe some crawfish pie. We want you to feel like your are at home and have some fun. We know that your job is stressful and very dangerous, because we have worked in plants too. My hat goes off to you men and women who keep America working.

Here are the normal things we do that make our competitors try to imitate us:

  1. We do our homework before each smoke school with maintenance and calibration before each test

  2. We set the stage for optimal conditions for reading opacity even on cloudy days- contrasting background and shelter from rain and sun

  3. We start your day off with precise instructions on how to read opacity, fill out the forms, and take the visible emissions certification test. Remember this- read the background not the smoke. 25% opacity means 25% of the background is obscured by the smoke. Always read the opacity at the densest part of the plume. In our case, choose an observation point that is 12 inches in diameter the same diameter as our smokestack.

  4. Whitlow gives you plenty practice test opacity plumes to evaluate and we watch you to make sure you are following the correct basic fundamentals of reading opacity.

  5. We present the smoke school visible emissions evaluator certification test following EPA requirements of of random opacity plumes from zero to 100%

  6. We focus on low level opacity readings from zero to 50%, Most permits call for an average of 20% opacity over a 6 minute period. Some permits limit opacity to zero or 5%. Ray Charles can see 20% opacity. The certification test should not be based on a quota system designed to 50% of you will fail each test. We refuse to jump around like King Kong from 5% to 90% like a datburn yo yo. Absolutely no point in this at all.

  7. After the test you allow you to grade your own test papers. Our staff team grades the papers as well on site. You will know that you passed before you leave. We call out the answers nice and slow.

  8. Each smoke school consists of a morning and afternoon session to allow you to send plenty of employees. Please let us know when you resister if you prefer morning or afternoon.

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    And the Good Lord says Thumbs Up Whitlow

    Hey meet my lovely Bride Pam. Like my Uncle Si, I am Uncle George, the Smoke Commander, and 5% of every single one of my stories is absolutely true- sometimes 7%. Nobody handed me this Whitlow Smoke School on a silver platter. I ain't never asked nobody for nuttin Jack. I done it all on my own. I just might have a college degree in environmental and social work but that don't mean I am not a southern gentleman with plain common horse sense. I have made a living driving nails and driving trucks. I have worked in a plant or three. I am not a man afraid of hard work. There might be a little snow on my chimney but that don't mean there ain't no fire in the fireplace.

  9.  

     

     

  10. While we are on the subject of hard work
    I just wanted to tell you that, "I am a man who likes hard work"
    I was born working and I worked my way up by hard work
    I aint ever got no where, but I got there by hard work

    Work of the hardest kind I been down and I been out
    I been disgusted I been busted and I couldnt be trusted
    I worked my way up and I worked my way down
    I been drunk and I been sober, I been baptized and hijacked

    Worked my way in jail and I worked my way outta jail
    Woke up a lot of mornins, didnt know where I was at
    The hardest work I ever done was, when I was tryin
    To get myself a worried woman to help ease my worried mind

    Im gonna tell ya just how much work I had to do
    To get this woman I was tellin you about, I shook hands
    With ninety seven of her kinfolk and Her blood relatives
    And I done just the same with eighty six people
    Who's just her friends and her neighbors

    I kissed seventy three babies and put dry pants
    On thirty four of em, well as others done this same thing
    Well there are a lot of other things just like this
    I held one hundred twenty five wild horses
    And put saddles and bridles on more than that

    Harnessed some of the wildest and craziest teams
    In that whole country I rode fourteen loco broncos to a stand still
    And I let forty two hound dogs lick me all over seven times
    Is bit by hungry dogs and I was chewed all to pieces
    By rattlesnakes and water moccasins on two river bottoms

    I chopped and carried three hundred fourteen arm loads
    Of stove wood, one hundred nine buckets of coal
    Carried a gallon of kerosene eighteen miles over the mountains
    Got lost, lost a good pair of shoes in a mud hole
    And I chopped and weeded forty eight rows of short cotton

    Thirteen acres of bad corn, I cut the sticker weeds
    Out of eleven back yards, all on account of 'cuz
    I wanted to show her that I was a man and I liked to work
    I cleaned out nine barn lofts, cranked thirty one cars
    All makes and models, pulled three cars out of mud holes
    And four or five out of snow drifts

    I dug five cisterns of water for some of her friends
    Run all kinds of errands, played the fiddle for nine
    Church meetins I Joined eleven separate denominations
    I joined up and signed up with seven best trade unions
    I could find, I paid my wages, a, dues six months in advance

    I waded forty eight miles of swamps and six big rivers
    Walked across two ranges of mountains and crossed
    Three deserts, I got the fever, sun stroke, Malaria, blue
    Moonstruck, skeeter bit, poison Ivy and the seven year itch
    And the blind staggers, I was give up for less, lost and dead

    A couple of times struck by lightning, struck by Congress
    Struck by friends and kinfolks Well as by three cars on highways
    A lot of times in peoples hen houses, I been hit and run down
    Run over and walked on knocked around, Im just sittin here
    Now tryin to study up what else I can do to show that women
    That I still aint afraid of hard work

    Now normally I'm a hard working honest man, but now I done stold this here song. Sorry bout that Arlo Guthrie, but I stold your daddy Woody Guthrie's song, Talking Hard Work.

    Whitlow Photo Album

    It ain't over until the fat cat sings

 

 

 

Lets go Pilgrim,

we are burning up daylight.                            

 

 

Uncle G Artie Whitlow
 
My Novel A Smoke School Prize worth keeping. 

 

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