Marijuana Smoking School- This is a Whitlow Enterprises Smoke School Story

IF I'm Lying I'm Dieing

This story is a true honest to God Story, that took place during the Milwaukee, Wisconsin smoke school. Now some of you may ask, what in the heck is a Louisiana Bayou Boy Doing in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. I guess that is just where the Good Lord Sent me. On this particular day in March 2004, Homer had to miss smoke school due to an appointment he could not avoid with his probation officer. Let me give you a clue. If you drink more than 3 beers in Indiana, then do not get behind a steering wheel. Do not drink and drive. Do not take the change. Homer says, you can rent a taxi cab from Indiana to California for $5,000- and you would be well ahead of the cost of a drunk driving ticket.

Any-who- since Homer was preoccupied, that left Bubba and me to conduct the Milwaukee Smoke School on our own. Now I won't tell you Bubba's real name, but I will say that Life ain't easy for a boy named Sue. If I ever have a son, I think I will name him Bill or George, anything but Sue.

We held the Milwaukee, Wisconsin Smoke School at Frederick C. Wulff overnight Lodge in Grant Park. It is a lovely park and a marvelous place to have smoke school. The park streams along the banks of the Great Lakes. We placed several signs for Smoke School guiding people through South Milwaukee  directing them to the lodge. We even passed by the signs at 7 AM on the day of the Smoke School to see if the signs were still up. Then, low and behold, several people were late for the school at 8 AM when we were ready to start. They said the signs were missing.

Well, we started the test and were about half way finished, when one of South Milwaukee's finest- your right- a police car black and white pulled up next to the smoke machine. He watched us for a while with the back smoke barreling out of the stack, then he got out. He was nice. He walked over to me, and asked, "What are you smoking?"

I gave him my usual answer, "A Pig, kind sir."

Then I explained to him what smoke school was and how the federal government requires certain plants to come out, sit in a yard chair, and take an EPA Method 9 Opacity Certification Test every 6 months.

Well the policeman began to have a belly laugh. He said that the little old lady from Pasadena had called in a 911 complaint that a bunch of awful, rowdy, no good for nothing teenagers were holding a Marijuana Smoking School out in the woods at the park. She confiscated all of our handmade smoke school signs. She did her part for God and her country.

I told him that I had smoked a joint or two of Marijuana back in the 60's when I was in the Air Force, I am an old hippie, but I did not inhale. The policeman went around to the trunk of his unit, pulled out our signs and handed them to me. And that is the way it was.

I was telling this same story at our smoke school in West Monroe, Louisiana, back home. I was on the Public Address system telling the story just before we began smoke school. And low and behold, someone looked over my shoulder and said there they are now. We were in Kiroli park, a place where I camped out with the Boy Scouts, when I was just a young buck.

I stopped talking and turned around, and there was one of West Monroe's finest. A black and white stopped right behind me. Red-light flashing. I thought surely, he had to use the bathroom.  But no, it was not to be.

He was nice. He walked over to me, and asked, "What are you smoking?"

I gave him my usual answer, "A Pig, kind sir."

Then I explained to him what smoke school was and how the federal government requires certain plants to come out, sit in a yard chair, and take an EPA Method 9 Opacity Certification Test every 6 months.

Well the policeman began to have a belly laugh. He said that the little old lady from Pasadena had called in a 911 complaint that a bunch of awful, rowdy, no good for nothing teenagers were holding a Marijuana Smoking School out in the woods at the park. She confiscated all of our handmade smoke school signs. some of the signs were next to the Kiroli School. She did her part for God and her country.

I told him that I had smoked a joint or two of Marijuana back in the 60's when I was in the Air Force, I am an old hippie, but I did not inhale. The policeman went around to the trunk of his unit, pulled out our signs and handed them to me. And that is the way it was.

Now that is a true story, believe it or not.